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Communicating Across Cultures


Four Ways to Up Your Communication Game

Author: Kristin Bower, HR Consultant 

Have you ever had a conversation that left you feeling misunderstood? Maybe you were the one who didn’t understand what the other person was trying to say.  

Frustrating, isn’t it? 

Communication is hard. When we consider all the things that factor into the communication equation – language, background, age, disability/ability, gender, (just to name a few things) and even whether you are in a good mood or bad that day – it’s no wonder that we sometimes struggle. 

As the world becomes increasingly smaller and more connected, and workplaces become more diverse by the minute, effective cross-cultural communication is essential to building equitable and inclusive workplace cultures.  

But what does culture really mean? Culture, as defined by the Merriam-Webster online dictionary, is “the customary beliefs, social forms, and material traits of a racial, religious, or social group.” 

A helpful way to better understand what these things are is to use the metaphor of the cultural iceberg: 10% of what we see of another culture is above the water line; things like language, food, holidays, and music. The other 90% is below the waterline. This is deep culture: communication styles, notions of personal space, attitudes towards elders and authority, and the concept of justice. 

Some culture questions to ask yourself are:

  • Do I understand that different cultures have different communication norms? For example, in some cultures, being blunt or to-the-point is the norm and even a courtesy. In others, it can seem rude or off-putting to be too direct. 
  • Am I aware of cultural attitudes within a particular group? For example, views on gender and authority, the role of religion within a community, and other beliefs such as class structure. Culture is nuanced and not every individual from a certain country, region, or family will hold the same cultural attitudes; however, awareness of different views can help shed light on your own views that you may take for granted. 
  • Do I recognize that I have my own pre-existing beliefs and biases and that they shape how I interact with others? (see Recognizing Unconscious Bias)

The good news is that we can build our skills to reduce the chance of mixed messages and frustration. And just as importantly, we can better understand each other – a vital part of working with and serving diverse communities.  

Here are four ways to up your communication game:

1.  Read body language

Much of how we communicate has nothing to do with words. When we struggle to understand, watching for non-verbal cues can help us. Is there something in a person’s body language that makes you think that maybe it would be helpful to ask a clarifying question or adjust your communication style? It’s important not to make an assumption about a person based on their body language. Which brings us to point number two… 

2.  Set aside assumptions

If a person avoids eye contact, do you assume that they are untrustworthy? Maybe their culture considers eye contact towards someone in a position of authority to be disrespectful. 

3.  Be curious

Rather than go to a place of judgement, shift to a place of curiosity. Ask yourself, “What don’t I know about this person or situation?” This simple question can be powerful. You can also use these prompts to gain clarity: “When you say X, what do you mean?” or “Tell me more about that.” 

4.  Listen Actively

Focusing on a person’s words and body language allows you to be fully present. When we listen to understand rather than listen to respond, we build rapport which is perhaps the most important building block of effective communication.