Mastering Reactivity: Three Strategies for Leaders to Cultivate Psychological Safety
“Jane, a new team leader responsible for managing a team of six front-line workers, found herself in a challenging situation during a recent meeting. When a team member posed a difficult question, Jane’s immediate reaction was defensiveness, accompanied by a sudden flush of emotion. Since assuming her new role, Jane has been grappling with self-doubt, which was exacerbated by the perceived challenge to her decision-making and authority. Regrettably, Jane chose to shut down the question, interpreting it as an attack on both her judgment and her position.
Observing the ensuing silence from the team members for the rest of the meeting, Jane realized her response’s impact. The atmosphere grew increasingly awkward, and the once-open exchange of thoughts and collaborative problem-solving dwindled in the aftermath.”
The importance of being self-aware and learning how to manage emotions is an important part of leadership. In Jane’s example, her team did not feel safe continuing with the meeting and expressing their thoughts and concerns openly. Emotions are an important part of the human experience and leaders aren’t exempt from this. Jane’s experiencing strong emotions when posed with a challenging question is normal and valid. However, there are some skills they could learn to have a more helpful response that creates safety for their team.
Model Non-Defensive Reactions: Hit the Pause Button
It is common to get defensive when facing criticism. Some people experience physiological indicators that may be like a stress-fight-freeze response. In Jane’s case, this included a racing heart. What could she have done differently?
- Notice: any changes that may indicate that you are getting defensive, such as a racing heart or flushed face.
- Pause: Choosing to pause goes against our instincts to respond immediately when feeling defensive. This can be a powerful tool for a leader. Jane could have said, this is an important point, I will reflect on it and get back to you.
- Breathe: Deep belly breathing is a very effective way of activating our body’s relaxation system.
- Choose: After pausing and practicing deep breathing, Jane could choose a more helpful response. For example, Jane could have followed up with a question that showed curiosity.
Name it to tame it
Research shows that labeling or naming emotions can positively impact our brain and behavior. This can lead to a more productive response when dealing with something difficult on a team.
- Notice: When you’re experiencing strong emotions, notice this. Do not try to lock them away or ignore them. As you notice the emotion, describe to yourself what you’re feeling. For example, here’s anger, or this is anxiety.
- Acknowledge: Acknowledge your emotions without applying any judgment. In Jane’s case, she could say to herself; I am feeling angry and hurt that my decision was questioned by a team member.
- Expand your awareness: After you have acknowledged your thoughts and feelings, expand your awareness of what’s going on around you. Notice things you can see, smell or hear.
Watch out for your blind spots: What stories do you tell yourself?
The mind can be a word machine and doom and gloom radio. Meaning that the mind can come up with a negative conclusion with very few facts. It is constantly going, generating stories, words and conclusions all the time. Some of these are accurate and some are very far from the truth. It is important to be aware that our brains do this so we can be more in tune with our blind spots and biases.
- Realize that the brain concludes automatically: This is called automatic thinking and happens to everyone. Having the awareness that this happens can be an important step in taking back control and reacting in more helpful ways the foster psychological safety for employees.
- Don’t buy into your story right away: Think of this as your brain’s first analysis or first suggestion. This may need reviewing and revisiting since it may not be the truth, nor helpful to buy into. Imagine it as something that will be worth revisiting to recheck the data and gather more information about the situation.
- Have another look: Ask yourself, is there any evidence that tells a different story to your mind’s first conclusion?
Leaders are human and strong emotions are part of the human experience. However, to create a psychologically safe space for employees, awareness, and managing reactivity are valuable assets. Knowing when to pause and revisit an issue, identifying and naming emotions, and not immediately buying into stories can all help leaders react in more productive ways when experiencing strong emotions.
Additional Resources:
- How to Have Hard Conversations
- Addressing Psychologically Unsafe Situations at Work
- Emotional Intelligence Self Assessment | Workplace Strategies for Mental Health
- Psychologically Safe Leader Assessment | Workplace Strategies for Mental Health
- Psychologically Safe Team Assessment | Workplace Strategies for Mental Health