Speak Up While Staying Connected: The Art of Empathetic Communication

If you have trouble communicating with others at work in an effective way while maintaining collaborative relationships, you are not alone. A statistic on workplace communication showed that 86% of employees and senior leadership believed that a lack of effective collaboration and communication was the cause of most workplace failures.¹

Work in the social services sector is vital and could be described as emotionally demanding. Frontline workers and leaders regularly experience complex situations such as exposure to trauma, high levels of stress, and systematic barriers. These roles come with risks, including compassion fatigue, emotional exhaustion, and vicarious trauma.

In this context, empathetic, effective communication can serve as a protective factor for the psychological safety of workers where workers can express themselves openly without the fear of judgement. This can create space for open dialogue and trust among employees, where people feel truly valued and continue to do their best client work.

Even with the best intentions, communicating with empathy isn’t always easy for most people. There are some real challenges that come up and get in the way.

The language we use and how we use it play an important role in communication. Some ways of communicating can alienate us from having compassion for the persons we are attempting to collaborate with at work. Sometimes, the language we use can impair psychological safety and ultimately lead to misunderstandings and even resentment.² The table below shows some communication barriers and how it can present in the language that we use that ultimately impair empathetic communication.

Language can also be used in a way that foster compassion and mutual understanding, even in difficult situations. Nonviolent Communication is a communication framework that helps people achieve this by changing the way they listen and speak. Nonviolence communication has four components; observation, feeling, needs and request.

Nonviolent Communication is more than just language it is a way of communicating that encourages persons to focus on what truly matters when communicating. By intentionally focusing on the right areas, this increases the chances of persons getting what they need out of the conversation; whether that’s mutual understanding, a compromise, or a solution to a problem.

A. Observation: The first component in Nonviolent Communication is separating our observations; what we see, or hear from our evaluations, what we think, or our judgements on a situation. The aim here is to rely on observation without judgement. The example below explores how Jane a team leader in social services was able to achieve this.

B. Feeling: This component of Nonviolent Communication focuses on expressing our emotional state. Identifying and articulating how we truly feel can be difficult, especially in moments of tension. Often, people substitute their actual feelings with opinions, judgments, or blame. For example, if Jane says, “I feel you should never raise your voice with a client,” she is not expressing a feeling—she’s stating an opinion. While it begins with “I feel,” the statement that follows is a judgment, not an emotion 2.

The first step would be for Jane to name what she is feeling. For example, “I feel concerned when you raise your voice with a client”. Here are some other examples below of feelings statements and some thoughts/judgements statements.

C. Needs: The third component of Nonviolent Communication involves identifying and acknowledging the underlying needs behind our emotions. Recognizing these needs helps us respond with empathy rather than react defensively.

For example, when Jane questioned Priya about raising her voice with a client, Priya could have responded in several ways:

By tuning into her own feelings and needs, Priya is practicing self-awareness and demonstrating empathy—key elements of effective communication. This approach increases the likelihood of a constructive and respectful outcome for everyone involved. In contrast, if Priya were to blame herself or Jane, the conversation could become defensive or disconnected, potentially undermining trust and collaboration.

Likewise, Jane can take ownership of her own needs during the conversation. For example, she might say:

“When I heard you raise your voice, I felt concerned because I care about maintaining a calm and safe space for our clients. I also want to support our team in navigating stressful situations more effectively.”

D. Request: The fourth component of Nonviolent Communication addresses the question: What would I like to request from this person that will improve our work together? At this stage, it’s essential that requests are clear and specific, avoiding vague or ambiguous language. It’s also important that the person receiving the request feels free to either act or not act on it, as turning the request into a demand with consequences undermines the goal of empathetic communication.

Additionally, framing requests with positive language and clear, actionable steps can be more effective than focusing on what not to do². For instance, in the example of Jane and Priya, Jane could have made the following request:

“I feel upset when I hear clients being spoken to this way because I fear it may make them feel unsafe. It’s important to me that clients feel safe and respected. Would you be willing to pause the conversation with the client and ask for support from a colleague or supervisor if you notice yourself feeling activated or upset? How else can I support you with this?”

This example illustrates how a clear, actionable, and supportive request can build trust and encourage collaboration, all while respecting the other person’s autonomy.

Effective, empathetic communication is more than just a skill — it’s a cornerstone of psychological safety, trust, and collaboration, particularly in emotionally demanding environments like social services. By learning to separate observation from evaluation, express feelings honestly, identify underlying needs, and make clear, respectful requests, we create an environment where we can speak up while maintaining strong connections with one another.

Reflection Sheet: Practicing Nonviolent Communication (NVC) 
This tool is designed for you and your team to reflect on communication in the workplace, apply the principles of Nonviolent Communication (NVC), and strengthen emotional intelligence. It offers a structured way to explore how we respond to challenging situations with empathy and how we can express our needs and requests clearly and respectfully. Use the accompanying Answer Sheet: Nonviolent Communication Reflection Sheet to guide your responses and deepen your awareness of effective, compassionate communication.