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Bridging Differences in Values

Employee agreeing and shaking hands with a coworker

This resource is part of Safety Huddle: Navigating Differences in Values for those who work in community social services. Download the Navigating Differences in Values quick reference guide as a handy resource or watch the video.

In the workplace, we often encounter individuals whose values differ significantly from our own, especially in social services where formal ethics boards or guidelines may not always be available, and workers approach support in different ways. These differences can create internal tension, team conflict, and barriers to effective service. Yet, when navigated with skill and sensitivity, they can also enhance our work by offering diverse perspectives and approaches. This article offers practical strategies for managing values conflicts while maintaining professional effectiveness. 

Understanding Your Values Framework

We all carry a unique set of values shaped by our upbringing, culture, experiences, and choices. These values act as internal navigational tools, helping us make sense of complex situations. Take a moment to reflect: What core values guide your work? Where did these values originate? Being conscious of your values helps you recognize when they’re influencing your reactions to others.

Values aren’t simply intellectual concepts—they’re deeply emotional. When someone expresses values that contradict our own, we may experience physical reactions (tension, increased heart rate) and emotional responses (frustration, judgment, discomfort). These reactions aren’t wrong, but how we manage them matters tremendously.

Recognizing When Your Values Are Challenged

Before you can effectively navigate values conflicts, it’s important to recognize when your own values are being challenged. Pay attention to your emotional and physical responses during interactions. A sudden feeling of discomfort, defensiveness, or judgment often signals that a core value is being questioned or contradicted. Acknowledging this internal response is the first step toward managing it constructively.

Recognizing Values Conflicts

Values conflicts in social services typically emerge around differences in religious beliefs, political views, family structures, gender and sexuality, cultural practices, and lifestyle choices. These conflicts may also stem from varying approaches to social justice and the evolving values that come with supporting individuals in vulnerable situations. Signs that you’re experiencing a values conflict could include: 

  • Strong emotional reactions to client or colleague choices
  • Difficulty maintaining empathy or connection
  • Internal judgmental narratives
  • Avoidance of certain topics or people
  • Feeling conflicted about professional responsibilities

When you notice these signs, consider it an opportunity for professional growth rather than a problem to eliminate. 

Separating Judgment from Professional Responsibility

Our effectiveness depends on our ability to distinguish between our internal judgments and our professional actions. This doesn’t require abandoning your values, but rather: 

  • Acknowledging your reactions without judgment (“I notice I’m feeling uncomfortable with this situation”)
  • Distinguishing between thoughts, feelings, and behaviours
  • Recognizing that your perspective is just one way of viewing the situation
  • Refocusing on shared goals and client-defined needs

Remember that your role isn’t to evaluate others’ values, but to provide support within your professional boundaries.

Communication Strategies for Bridging Differences

When differences in values arise, these communication approaches can help maintain respectful engagement:

  1. Use “I” statements that own your perspective rather than presenting it as universal truth: “I have a different approach” versus “That’s the wrong way to handle this.”
  2. Ask curious questions instead of making assumptions: “Could you help me understand your perspective on this?” opens dialogue where “I can’t believe you think that” shuts it down.
  3. Focus on common ground: “We both want what’s best for this client. Let’s start there and see where we can find a way forward.”
  4. Acknowledge differences directly but respectfully: “I see this differently, and that’s okay. How can we work together effectively despite these differences?”

Building Resilience for Values-Based Tensions

Working across values differences requires emotional stamina and resilience. Develop these through:

  • Regular reflection on challenging interactions to identify patterns and triggers
  • Mindfulness practices that help you notice judgmental thoughts without being controlled by them
  • Healthy debriefing with trusted colleagues or supervisors
  • Clear boundaries about when to engage and when to step back
  • Self-compassion when you struggle with difficult differences

Move Forward Together

Values conflicts aren’t signs of failure but natural outcomes of diverse people working together to serve diverse communities. By developing skills to navigate these differences respectfully, you contribute to a workplace where multiple perspectives can coexist and enhance service delivery. 

The next time you encounter values that challenge your own, try the LACE approach: Listen with curiosity, Acknowledge different perspectives, Connect through shared goals, and Engage in collaborative problem-solving. With practice, values differences can become less of an obstacle and more of an opportunity for growth and enhanced understanding. 

Remember: Your organization offers additional resources on navigating values conflicts. Speak with your supervisor about supports available to you and your team.