Holding Space for Grief: Healing Through The Loss of Community Members

Grief is quite common and often an unspoken part of social service work. As the toxic drug crisis worsens, particularly with the increase of benzodiazepine-laced drugs that naloxone cannot reverse, frontline response efforts have grown more complex.¹ Overdose-related loss is becoming more frequent and widespread, making it harder to keep grief unspoken.  

Community social service workers, whether in housing supports, Indigenous services, harm reduction, or child and family programs, build deep and trusting relationships with the people they serve. These connections can stretch across lifecycles, through moments of hardships, healing, relapse, and growth. 

When social service workers grieve, they do as workers and as human beings who have lost someone they truly cared about, even within a professional setting.  

Grief and reactions to loss are shaped by both internal and external factors. Internal factors include personality traits, spiritual beliefs, resources, and support systems. External factors include the quality of the relationship with the community member, organizational norms, and the nature of the death, especially if it was sudden or perceived as preventable.  

To hold space for grief, this article will identify three phases of grief and five ways to effectively process the death of a community member, drawing on the framework presented by Kimberly Strom-Gottfried and Nikki D. Mowbray in “Who Heals the Helper? Facilitating the Grief Work of Social Service Workers.” ²

Grief is deeply personal and often cyclical. According to Who Heals the Helper, grief is generally processed through three interconnected phases: 

This initial phase is often marked by shock, denial, and emotional detachment. Most workers have to continue working and supporting other members, especially when caseloads remain full. It can be difficult to emotionally engage with the loss when there is no immediate space or time to grieve. 

As time passes, the reality of the loss resurfaces in different ways. Seeing the individual’s name on a file, visiting a shared space, or supporting another member with a close relationship with the deceased can re-trigger the emotional weight of the loss. This phase involves emotional heaviness that may come in waves requiring repeated internal adjustments. For those who have long-term relationships with community members, these moments can be especially fresh and challenging. 

Eventually, grief moves into a more integrated stage. The person lost is no longer physically present, but their memory and influence remain woven into the work and the worker’s identity. They may honor the person through storytelling, advocacy, or simply continuing the work with deeper compassion. In this phase, grief becomes part of their worldview, often shaping how they approach future relationships and losses whether professional or personal. 

Who Heals the Helper also outlines five key measures to support grief processing within social service contexts. These practices acknowledge both the humanity and professional demands of helpers while offering practical steps toward healing. 

When possible, preparing for potential loss can soften the blow. This may involve acknowledging risk factors and having intentional conversations with seasoned or other support workers about how to emotionally prepare for an adverse outcome. 

Research indicates that those who have formal coursework or supervisory guidance in the physical, emotional, social, financial, and spiritual dimensions of grief are better prepared to deal with death than those who are not. Discussing experiences and reactions of a member’s death by seasoned workers helps new workers reconcile the realities of grief in the sector. While preparation doesn’t eliminate the pain of loss, it allows workers to approach relationships with both openness and grounded awareness. 

Self-care is essential in processing grief and includes what Welsh calls responsible selfishness, where we intentionally make space for our own healing to sustain long-term work. This may include setting emotional boundaries, taking time away from work, or engaging in practices that reconnect the worker with their own sense of meaning and identity. 

When a community member passes, especially in preventable circumstances, workers may hold themselves responsible, leading to feelings of failure and helplessness. Shifting the lens from “saving” to “supporting with dignity and compassion” helps honor the value of care even in the face of tragic outcomes. 

Self-care should not fall solely on workers. Peer support serves as a preventative and supportive purpose for workers processing loss. Supervisors and co-workers are the primary support system when grieving a community member. Team cultures that normalize talking about grief and that offer space to listen without judgement prevent isolation and compassion fatigue. 

Supervisors, organizations, and teams all have a role in self-care and making support systems possible in moments of crisis. 

Organizations play a crucial role in supporting grief by assigning responsibilities for post-trauma actions and establishing protocols, including a communication plan, in the event of a member’s death. This helps reduce confusion and anxiety among staff. Practical supports, such as condolence cards and up-to-date list of bereavement services, are also important. Additionally, ensuring the number of high-risk clients per worker is evenly distributed can help prevent burnout. Fostering a culture where grief is acknowledged, not hidden, and where emotional responses are normalized requires organizations to provide structured, compassionate systems that support workers through both loss and recovery. 

Grief is often compounded by unanswered questions or feelings of guilt. Structured debriefing allows staff to process events, clarify boundaries, and identify systemic issues. Tools like Critical Incident Stress Debriefing (CISD), psychological autopsies, and group processing provide space to reflect, ask hard questions, and reduce emotional burdens. These approaches help teams identify what is within their control and what is not, fostering learning and emotional closure. Debriefing also supports a culture of transparency and shared responsibility, helping workers transform grief into insight and action, rather than isolation or burnout. 

Rituals transcend cultures and help give meaning to grief. This may include an opportunity to attend a member’s funeral, have a memorial service with team members and fellow members to provide mutual support, and allocate time for intentional remembrance rituals, such as lighting candles, sharing stories, or engaging in culturally grounded practices. These shared acts of mourning validate the emotional bond between workers and community members, reduce stigma around grief, and offer a space for healing. Memorial rituals transform silent suffering into collective reflection, honoring both the life lost and the care given. 

Grief in social services is not just personal;, it’s structural, systemic, and communal. As overdose deaths and preventable losses continue to rise, the emotional cost of this work becomes harder to ignore. By recognizing the phases of grief and intentionally practicing these five measures, social service workers and organizations can begin to shift from silent suffering to collective care. 

Honoring our grief is not a weakness; it is a profound testament to the love and humanity embedded in this work.

Download our quick reference guide on Supporting the Grief Process.